Asexual And A Sexual
by TharaCorleone
Summary: Waiting for Zlatar to return from his golf, Mercury finds herself engaging in conversation with Jonas about their very different attitudes toward sex...


As she paced around the white-walled room, it was clear that Mercury was getting impatient and annoyed. She had been repeatedly told not to be late for their appointment as to not waste Zlatar's time but ten minutes had passed and there was still no sign of him. Still, it had been a promising sign that their little meeting was in the Uppers mansion where the clan resided, rather than the tower that housed his company. It meant he trusted her at least a little.

Realising that pacing around was doing nothing, the female sat herself down onto a green, velvet loveseat that was pushed back again the wall. Adopting a rather demure sitting position and ensuring that her skirt was covering as much skin as possible, she quickly retrieved her mirror from her messenger back; a quick peek to check on her hair, she then noticed a familiar face standing at the door in the mirror's image.

"Is it me or did it just get hotter in here?"

Even if she hadn't been able to see him in the mirror, there was only one guy she knew who used that line. Jonas Sexton- more particularly a Jonas who, for once in his life, had things on his mind other than sex.

"So...what are you doing here?"

"I'm just here to have a word with Mr Zlatar and then I'll be going," the female replied, rather matter-of-factly.

"Well you'll be waiting a while because he's not back from golf yet," he explained, sitting down next to her. "Don't worry though, I'll keep you company, little kitty."

Mercury's initial response was to shuffle away from him uncomfortably, much to his surprise. Despite the negative reaction, he decided to stay on the seat as he had needed a bit of a sit down anyway. Their shared sitting descended into silence, with neither person being entirely sure what to say; a problem that was somewhat commonplace with ex-partners, and one couldn't exactly run into a long, detailed discussion about their failed relationship. Yet Jonas felt himself comfortable enough to slowly dip his toe into the subject matter.

"So...", he began, in a rare moment of awkward hesitation where talking to women was concerned. "When we were together..."

"Yes?" Mercury questioned in response, sounding rather wary. Their break-up hadn't been sore and they had remained quite good friends but she wasn't really someone who liked to dwell on the past.

"Did you find me sexy at all?"

"Nope," She immediately responded, her attention fixated on her camera rather than the Upper next to her. Did that lens seem a little loose?

"You sure you don't want time to rethink that?" The Chippendale asked, chuckling nervously.

"I know what I said," she then responded, still not looking at him as she continued to fiddle with the camera. When she heard Jonas making a semi-serious scoffing noise, she raised an inquisitive eyebrow as if to silently ask what his problem was.

"Should have known you were a closet lesbian, you are in the Pussycats after all."

"No, I am straight," Mercury then began, rather calmly and seriously. "The only reason we didn't do anything was because I just happen to be asexual."

"Asexual?" Jonas repeated, sounding a little bemused. "So that is actually a thing then and not some blue blog bullshit?"

"Of course it's not some blue blog bullshit" she said, shooting him an annoyed glance as she sounded rather offended. "There are plenty of people out there who have zero to little interest in sexual activity."

"Name them."

"Excuse me?"

"Name them."

"We're not some little group who meets every week," she retorted, almost chuckling at just how ignorant and childish his responses sounded to her. "Besides, not everyone announces their sexuality like some foghorn."

"Nothing wrong with having pride in bringing the opposite sex to its knees," Jonas commented, chuckling as he shot an experienced look at her. "Isn't that your clan's MO? Look at Charlie, look at Yayoi, pretty sure that's your clan's MO."

The "you really don't get it" glance that Mercury shot him made it clear that she'd heard him but was opting not to give him any sort of vocal response. The silence that the pair then sat in soon turned awkward, with the Chippendale opening his mouth and then suddenly close it again when he realised what he was about to say weren't exactly the best words to say out loud.

"Still, poor sods," Jonas began, suddenly breaking the silence after a few minutes. "They don't know what they're missing. Though thinking about it, if they've never had sex, how can they not like it or have no interest in it? Send the girls to me, half an hour and I'll cure them of their sickness."

At that moment, he felt his head jerk involuntarily as if someone had just slapped him. Rubbing his cheek in a pained way, the next thing he saw as he carefully turned his head was a rather insulted Mercury who had stood up from the green loveseat, and seeming rather ready to give the slap another go if she needed to.

"I cannot believe you, you disgusting, inconsiderate _manwhore_!"

"Sit down, Merc, please," the Chippendale replied, his tone almost pleading. Usually Jonas could take criticism and negative names on the chin like it was a playful nudge but much to the female's surprise, he actually seemed upset by her 'manwhore' remark.

"This is why I left you," she began, sounding rather serious. "You think everyone should have a libido like yours and then you treat anyone with less than that to give as if they have some sickness. It's not some sickness to be cured with sex and even then it's not sex, it's rape, Jonas. You just basically said you'd rape those girls."

Giving a frustrated groan as she realised she didn't really have anywhere to storm off too, Mercury heavily sat herself back down on the green loveseat as she looked very, very pissed off. But after a few moments, her harsh expression seemed to fade as she let out a very regretful sounding sigh, causing Jonas to tense up a little; she'd recovered a little too quickly from her angry state for his liking. Was she about to tear into him something rotten?

"I'm sorry," she said, sounding rather serious but her voice still carried an apologetic tone, "I know there's no malice in what you say, just so much misunderstanding that it frustrates me just how much you really don't get it. There's a lot more to life than just screwing and money, Jonas."

"Maybe so but they are two of the best things," he responded, grinning laddishly. The fact that he was smiling again so quickly was making her smile too for some reason. Noticing her sit down on the loveseat once more, Jonas couldn't resist trying to sidle up to her again but he was gently pushed away, much to his expectation.

"You love me really," he then commented, chuckling in good faith even when Mercury was staring at him. "Even though you're clearly on your period."

"Oi!" The female shrieked, but her tone seemed more humoured than annoyed as she knew he was just teasing her now; gently pulling on her skirt and crossing her legs as she spoke, it was no indication of whether or not it was her time but just a sign of wanting to stay modest.

The pair then sat in silence once more, but it was clear that despite the outbursts, they were much more comfortable around each other; their expressions ponderous rather than awkward, this time it was Mercury's turn to break the silence as she was slow and deliberate with her words. The last thing she needed was for Jonas to misunderstand something and turn it into a dirty joke.

"By the way, when I said I never found you sexy-"

"You were lying, thank gawd," the Upper interrupted, sighing with relief.

"No, I was being honest," Mercury then said, causing a disheartened grunt from the male. "But that never meant I didn't find you attractive. Asexuals are more interested in people aesthetically."

"So...you were attracted to my _ass_?" Jonas questioned, looking at her in a bemused way.

" _NO_ ," the Pussycat replied, sighing and shaking her head but it was all in good faith. "Aesthetics is beauty and things that are pleasing to the eye."

"Like my ass!" The Chippendale retorted, laughing at his own remark. "No, no, I get it. You had no interest in ordering from the menu but you liked the look of it."

"You're...getting there," Mercury said, her smile a little awkward. Hoping she wouldn't have to try and explain it to him any further whilst he was in his current mood, her prayers were answered when footsteps along the corridor stopped at the open door of the white-walled room; Zlatar then staring at the pair in a bemused way, his appearance caused both Chippendale and journalist to stand up.

"Ah, Miss Veronique," he began, as he and the female shook hands. "Please excuse me in my golfing gear, I was playing a few rounds. I trust Jonas hasn't been annoying you too much?"

"Not at all," she replied, seeming pleasantly surprised when Jonas put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. "We were just catching up, that's all."

"Well mind Christelle doesn't see you getting cozy, she can get horribly jealous and then pissed off," Zlatar replied, rolling his eyes and making it clear that he didn't think too highly of the perfume tycoon. "Her getting pissed off usually spells some kind of blow for a rival company and I'd rather neither mine nor your father's shares were targeted, ok?"

"I know what I'm doing," Jonas protested, almost sounding like a petulant teenager but he gently let go of Mercury all the same. "Say what you want about me but my mind's not always on scoring, you know."

"Yes, well you said that when we were at that social at Borgia's Palace and you ended up playing some serious tongue hockey with-

"Not listening!"

Zlatar's comments obviously having touched a nerve, the Chippendale had abruptly and loudly interrupted him whilst 'fleeing' the scene; making a beeline out of the door and down the corridor with a quickened step, it was almost as if he feared he would be in earshot of the older male finishing his sentence. But the truth was that neither Zlatar nor Mercury said a single word as they heard his footsteps fade into the distance, though the curious expression on the female's face spoke volumes to the businessman.

"Don't worry about him too much," Zlatar began, shaking his head. "I'm just glad you were able to talk and still have your skirt on. Now if you'd like to follow me into my office, Miss Veronique, I think we can both agree that this is a meeting we shouldn't delay any longer..."


End file.
